


All Alone

by cinnamon_twists



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Blood and Gore, Crying, Hanahaki Disease, Kim Seungmin & Lee Felix are Best Friends, Kim Seungmin is Whipped, Kim Seungmin-centric, Lee Felix (Stray Kids) is a Sweetheart, M/M, Minor Injuries, Oblivious Hwang Hyunjin, Sad, Sad Ending, WooHwa if you squint, dont worry im crying too, fluff if you really squint, im sorry, no im not, really sad, suffer with me and seungmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:08:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24794404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinnamon_twists/pseuds/cinnamon_twists
Summary: A well known issue, though one that only affected a single percentage of the world's population. It's a hereditary gene, an extremely rare condition, a disease where you think, 'it could never happen to me' until it does. Unrequited, one sided love is a disease in and of itself. Knowing that the person you love so much doesn't, and may never reciprocate the same emotions is damaging, both mentally and physically, internally and externally.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 36





	All Alone

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMERS:
> 
> if gore makes you uncomfortable, please proceed with caution. blood is a recurring thing in this.
> 
> I never directly state it, but this takes place in a fantasy/medieval-esque commonhouse type place, if you were wondering why some terminology is a little odd. 
> 
> Yes, the tags say major character death, and yes i describe the death of said character in pretty heavy and graphic detail. 
> 
> This is sad. You have been warned
> 
> Not beta'd

"S-seonghwa hyung are you-  **_cough_ ** a-are you busy?" Seungmin practically came scrambling into the clinic, much to the concern of both Seonghwa and Wooyoung, who had been helping him out as of lately. 

"No, not busy right now." Seonghwa approached him carefully and lifted a brow. "What's the matter?" He patted the clinic bed for Seungmin to sit.

Seungmin was hesitant to speak, his fists clenching and unclenching around nothing in conflict with himself as he walked to the bed to sit on it. "I-" He barely spoke a single word before he went into a coughing fit, like something was stuck in his throat, his hands flew up to cover his mouth and his body curled up. He took a deep breath, and with one last cough, he was able to breathe again, but now his body was trembling, and a single pink rose petal lay in his hand. 

Seungmin looked up at Seonghwa and Wooyoung, who were now staring at him in disbelief. "Hyungs, I.." Seungmin's throat hurt. His voice barely came out. 

"Wooyoung, go get Chan." Seonghwa looked to the other boy, who nodded and made his way to the door. 

"Wait! N-no you can't..!" Seungmin pushed the words out. It hurt, it strained his throat even worse.

"He needs to know, Seungmin." Seonghwa placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and motioned Wooyoung to keep going. 

Chan showed up after a few minutes. "Hanahaki..?" He asked Wooyoung as they walked in, attention falling on Seungmin who was sitting on the bed, holding the petal he had just coughed up. 

"Come on, Minnie, let's go talk, okay?" Chan said quietly and Seungmin nodded, following him out of the room, leaving Seonghwa and Wooyoung to watch them, full of concern for the young boy. 

"Seungmin.. who is it?" Chan asked, rubbing gentle circles on Seungmin's back, the boy now back in his own room, curled around a pillow and still shaking and clutching the petal in his hand, quiet sobs heard from the younger boy throughout the small room.

"I.." he tossed the pillow to the floor and set the petal down on the table beside his bed, Chan noticing another one in the same place. 

"Seungmin, please tell me." Chan's voice was full of concern and care for the younger boy.

"You.. you won't tell?"

"I won't, I promise."

"It's Hyunjin.." As soon as Seungmin spoke the name he felt it again, the feeling of something creeping up through his throat. The petals were sharp in one area, he found out. More coughing filled the room and soon, the total number of petals on the table had increased to five.

Hyunjin's name in and of itself was a trigger.

-

His condition had gotten worse now, and after Felix had walked in on him spitting a mouthful of rose petals into the sink and demanded an explanation. 

"You have to tell him, Seungmin." 

"No. I don't want to force him to love me. Either he decides that he does, or I die." 

_ Hyunjin can't know. _

"Seungmin, you're not gonna-

"Felix. I have flowers growing inside of my lungs. You know how this works, it attacks from the inside out, it kills. I can't do anything about it."

"You can still get the surgery." 

"I'm not getting the surgery." 

"So this is it then? You've accepted your fate? You'd rather die than get a surgery that will save your life?" Felix was frustrated, his voice raising to a near shout. 

"Lix, please don't yell at me.." Seungmin's eyes were rimmed with tears already, now threatening to spill even more. 

"I just wanna know why you'd rather die like this, Seungmin.." Felix lowered his voice.

"Lix, I'd be miserable for the rest of my life either way. At least this way it'll be over quicker." Seungmin said flatly. 

Felix just nodded. "I understand.." he looked at a petal that Seungmin had picked up out of the sink. "Well, i mean I don't understand but i respect your choice." 

"Lix.." Seungmin's voice trembled. "It's getting worse.." he took another petal out of the sink, showing it to the other boy. Small splotches of red covered the pink of the petal. 

Felix lunged forward and pulled Seungmin into a tight hug. "I'm here for you, Minnie. You can talk to me whenever you need to. 

-

A month passed, Seungmin wanted to just avoid Hyunjin all he could, and he had been successful until the dreaded day that it was faulted.

A bunch of the guys had been sitting in the dining area, eating food and just talking. Seungmin didn't want to eat. He wasn't looking up, but he could feel Hyunjin's eyes on him the whole time. Seungmin stood and abruptly ran out of the room, outside the building. 

He was running over to the back of the building, before his right arm was grabbed, and he had to physically swallow down the flowers that tried to creep up. 

_Hyunjin can't know_. 

"Minnie, what's wrong..? You've been acting really strange and it feels like you haven't been talking to me as much lately.."

The hurt in Hyunjin's voice was deafening. It was all his fault the boy was so upset. The skin where Hyunjin's hand was burned

"I'm sorry Jinnie." Seungmin's voice cracked, his throat burned, the flowers trying to get up into his mouth.

_ Hyunjin can't know. _

Seungmin's eyes started to water, Hyunjin's hand now softly stroking Seungmin's arm. It was comforting, but it hurt so much.

"Ive.. I've just been really sick lately I'm.." He began to cough, swallowing down everything that tried to come up. He didn't finish his sentence before he was turned by Hyunjin, and rather than the hand on his arm, there was one on his cheek. 

"You do feel warm.. are you sure you're okay?" Hyunjin's voice was so gentle, as was the thumb that had begun gently stroking over his cheek. 

Seungmin's heart felt so full for just a moment, and he nodded. "I'll.. I'll be okay I just.. I think I need to go lay down." 

_Hyunjin can't know_.

"Feel better soon, Minnie!" Seungmin heard as he ran off, and everyone watched as he ran through the room, Felix getting up and running after him. 

He chased Seungmin to the washroom, where the boy had already begun coughing and gagging into the sink, blood being spat out every time a full rose fell from his lips. Felix hugged Seungmin from behind, just giving his best friend comfort.

"Lix.. it hurts.." Seungmin's voice was strained and his throat burned. "I- i think i need to lay down.." 

And Felix was quick to help him get to their shared room and into his bed. 

-

"Lix.. Felix please wake up.."

Felix grumbled and looked up at Seungmin, shooting awake as he saw the state of the boy. "Seungmin, you let him touch you..? You know that accelerates the spreading of it.." His eyes were focused on the splotches of blood on his face and arm

"Felix, I need you to tell Hyunjin what's going on." Seungmin ran his hand over the petals on his cheek.

"But i thought you didn't want to tell him..?

"Please, Lix." Seungmin's voice was strained, he was holding back the urge to cough, Felix could tell too. "Tell him I love him."

"Okay." Felix stood, pulling Seungmin into a tight hug. He knew why Seungmin asked him to do so. Who was he to deny his best friend's last wish? "I love you"

"I love you too, Felix. Thank you for everything." Seungmin's eyes started watering again and Felix gave Seungmin one last squeeze before walking out and shutting the door behind him. 

Seungmin immediately fell to the floor, coughing violently, everything he kept down while speaking to Felix coming back up. It all seemed endless, so many petals and flowers spewing out of his mouth, the bitter taste now familiar to him.

It hurt, it all hurt so badly, his throat burned, with every cough came more petals, and with the petals came roses, and with the roses came blood, and the disgusting metallic flavor in his mouth. He couldn't take it anymore, the roses had stems now, and the stems had thorns, they sliced his tongue, the insides of his cheeks, his throat, everywhere. He couldn't stand anymore, he just kept coughing, hands supporting his weight on shaky arms as he lay hunched over the floor, his regular instincts to keep everything clean having left him as all he wanted at this point in time was a break. 

His skin burned where the petals had torn through the skin of his arm, and the entire right side of his face in all of the spots Hyunjin had touched him the day prior, trying to comfort him when he just broke down in tears in front of the boy, still refusing to tell Hyunjin anything.

_Hyunjin had to know_.

The coughing stopped, and it felt like all the strength left in his body just melted away. His arms gave out and his face crashed against wooden floors. He turned his head to the side, and there he lay, limp and weak on the floor. Blood had pooled into his mouth and he opened it to let it drip out in a steady stream, too weak to do anything else as he lay, staring at the wall. 

He tried to swallow the foul taste, but he couldn't swallow. Something was stuck. He reached a shaky hand up to grip at a stem deep inside his mouth, and with all the strength he could, tugged it from his mouth. His hand fell back to the floor, now squeezing the rose tight in an attempt to feel something that wasn't just pain. The rose acted like a drain plug, loose petals filling his mouth and throat like wild. He spat them out, he tried to cough them away, but they kept coming. He couldn't breathe, no matter how much he tried. He gagged on the petals, quickly rising through his throat and he coughed those up too, heaving out nothing but multicolored petals and blood, so much blood dripping out onto the floor as he could finally breathe.

His head was spinning and all he could do was lay there, clutching the flower in his shaking hand. His vision went blurred and he felt like he was underwater. He heard one thing from outside the room, a knock, and then a small question of, "Minnie?" That was undoubtedly Hyunjin. 

Hyunjin knows.

"I-i love you Jinnie, I l-love you so much.." Seungmin whispered out, before his lungs gave out, once again struggling to breathe. His eyes fluttered shut and all he saw was black. He felt nothing anymore, not even the floor beneath him. All he heard was the slowing thrum of his heartbeat in his chest.

Ba-dum

Ba-dum

Ba-dum 

Slower and slower, until a rush of cold burst through his body. The flower fell from his hand and with one last exhale through his mouth he finally, _finally_ felt himself drift away into nothing.

"Seungmin..? Seungmin please. Please open the door.." Hyunjin's knocks turned to pounding, desperate pounding. He knew the door wasn't locked, but he never wanted to intrude on the younger boy. A feeling of dread pooled into his chest as he touched the door handle. He gripped it and turned it to open up the door, the smell of blood and the vision of a now lifeless Seungmin hitting him immediately. 

"Minnie.." He spoke through now trembling lips.

He looked beautiful. Beautiful in the most sickening way possible. As beautiful as a dead body could look. He had the tips of roses splitting through his skin, growing all along his right cheek and right upper arm, deep red blood surrounding them in splotches. His cheeks were wet with fresh fallen tears, and blood had pooled from his just barely parted lips into a fresh puddle onto the wooden floor, scattered with roses and petals of different colors, but all splattered with the same deep blood. 

Hyunjin fell to his knees beside him. "M-minnie?" Was all he could mutter out. He reached forward and grabbed the boy's hand. "You can't.. y-you can't be gone." He took a shaky breath and screamed the boy's name as loud as he could, tears forcing their way down his cheeks.

A deafening, pained scream of "Seungmin" rang through the building and others were at the young boy's room in an instant, crowding the door. 

Felix was one of the first, he reached to put his hand on Hyunjin's shoulder, but he was shaken away.

"Don't touch me.. please.. please don't touch me right now." Hyunjin spoke, voice wavering. Others showed up as Hyunjin began apologizing to the lifeless boy laid in front of him. "Min, I.. I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry."

"Jinnie, it's not your fault.." Changbin tried, to no avail as all he got in return was a shout from Hyunjin. 

"It is! It's all my fault. I was stupid.. i was oblivious.. he- Seungmin- he's d-dead because of me.." he was quiet for a minute before he mumbled a little, "I love you Seungminnie. I love you so much.. But i guess that doesn't matter anymore, does it?"

There was whispering behind him and the others began to disperse, a few hanging back to comfort Hyunjin if he needed it. 

"Is this how it felt, Minnie? I'm so sorry I made you feel like this. You- you're gone because of me.." Hyunjin broke down again, his sobs so intense he began to cough, a worrying amount, especially to Chan who hadn't left the boy's side. He put a hand on Hyunjin's back, right before the boy let out one final cough, resulting in a full sunflower, with everything but the stem falling down to his lap, droplets of his own blood staining the pretty yellow flowers red and orange in an uneven splatter. Chan and Felix stared at it in disbelief, before they looked up to see Hyunjin smiling down at it, still holding the boy's hand.

"I see. This is how it felt. I guess I'll see you soon, Minnie."

**Author's Note:**

> im not sorry
> 
> follow @twisty_cinnamon on twitter pls


End file.
